101 ways to reuse a formula tin...

Finally a guest blogger on my site! I could say well finally a blog, i know its been a long time, sorry about that :)

Anyway today my gorgeous friend, Ollie's Mum is going to prove she is a star when it comes to reuse - check out what she can do with the humble formula tin :)

Oh, and 101 may have been a slight over statement - but you get the picture ;) 

Hi! I'm Ollie's mum.

So, like many mums before me, breastfeeding didn’t work out for me and my darling boy, so while it was upsetting at the time, I was thankful to live in a day and age when formula is an excellent back up, but as a result of the change in diet, and a pair of parents that may* have an issue with throwing away anything that “might be useful one day” we now have what could only be described as an apocalyptic hoard of empty formula tins. 

When we recently had a discussion about maybe needing to move some to the shed I realized it was time to do something with them…but what?  I scoured the Internet for ideas and the recurring theme seemed to be “cover it in wrapping paper and hide stuff in them”

‘I can do that and more’ became my mantra and so operation ‘formula tin rebirth’ was born.  My hubby and I took three cans each and got straight to work 

I gave each of my three tins three coats of super pretty cherry red gloss paint.  I use the stuff that cleans up with water….so very much easier than the stuff you used to have to clean up with turps – ERK!...I didn’t bother sanding or priming I just slapped the paint on and it worked out tops! here’s a picture:-

Once a formula tin.. now a red tin. What will they become next...?

Is there really such a things as a work/life balance???

The short answer I fear is: no.

The slightly longer answer: well maybe, kinda but no not really...

Well that's how it feels around here at the moment. Honestly, I have to take my hat off to all of those other Mums and Dad out there working and raising a family, especially those who appear to be keeping it together way better than I am currently.

And single parents - woza you guys rock.

My household is really no different to that of so many others here where I live. Many of the people here are commuters - lots of families have both parents doing the big trip in and out of town everyday, thankfully there is only one of us doing that here but still its a massive drain.

I read somewhere the other day something like 40,000 people from our area commute an hour or more each way each day for work. Yes 40,000!

That's 40,000 people spending an extra 2 - 3 hours a day travelling for work. Amazing.

How on earth do you get a balance when that is standard in your house?

When is a wet bag not just a wet bag?

When its a Hatchlings Cloth Nappies Deluxe wet bag that's when!

Before I go on... so sorry that its been quiet on the blog front - we have had the worst run of illness in our household, the joys of toddlers germs. Anyway its made getting on here impossible* so I apologise. Anyway, back to wet bags...

A few weeks ago (ok probably months ago now, as I said LOTS of illness..) I posted this photo on my Matilda's Mum facebook page...

This package brings much excitement and just a little trepidation -
my first product review! What could it be??

So what was in the package you may ask? Well it was a gorgeous wet bag from Hatchlings Cloth Nappies.

Deluxe wet bag by Hatchlings Cloth Nappies

You see Liz from Hatchlings posted on her facebook page looking for people to review her products on their blog - after a bit of prodding from my sister I offered to give it a whirl and here we are!

Its time to talk nappies, cloth nappies.

Before I start... I am not here to start an argument, I'm not here to judge your parenting choices and I am most definitely not an expert. This is just my opinion on something I feel passionate about and am proud of the way my family have embraced it. So if you have an issue with this post - stop reading it, go away and come back when I write something you do like, ta.

Ok, now I have that out of my system lets talk cloth nappies. When I told my family that we would be using cloth nappies they looked at me a little like I had been drinking - the general opinion was along then lines of "why on earth would you want to 'go backwards', life is so much easier now with disposables why would you want to add to your work load like we had to do".

Then there was the reaction of friends, colleagues and acquaintances some of whom were parents, new and experienced and some of whom we not. So many of them looked at me condescendingly and nodded "you'll never keep up with the washing", "I give it a couple of weeks" and most annoyingly "you know they are not more environmentally friendly than disposables, so you are really not doing any good anyway". Arrggghhh!

My response varied depending on who was judging my choices but often I pointed to the fact that we had just renovated the laundry (which included a full repaint of the roof, new gutters and the installation of a rainwater tank - because it was all linked) and said "do you really think I would have gone to all this trouble to give up?" that usually kept people quite.

Anyway sixteen months on and we are so happy that we made the decision to go cloth. It makes so much sense for our household. I really don't find the washing an issue in fact I quiet enjoy hanging out a load of nappies as it reminds me how many disposables we haven't added to landfill.

A freshly folded stash :)

Please keep reading...

The joy of recycled toys

It seems like a lifetime ago when I wrote about getting into some hands on arts and craft with Matilda and making her some keepsakes and toys - how fast life seems to go as you get older.

Well I thought it about high time that I brought that discussion back, why? Well as I chased Matilda around the hotel room on Easter morning, trying to get a good bunny shot I realised something - when deciding what toys to bring along with us, we had to pick some of her very favourites, we only had limited space and they needed to be able to keep her entertained. And THIS is what we packed...??

 

Yup that's right we brought three old chocolate wafer tins with us!

That might seem a little mad on first glance but actually its genius - they are some of her favourite toys and they can be almost anything.

In the photo above they were being fitting into one another, along with some small balls, then they become drums:

And they can be all sots of other things - towers to stack on top of one another, laying on their side they are great for rolling balls into, they roll around themselves (with a little reshaping) and sometimes its just fun to carry them around full of 'stuff'.

So far from being the craziest thing we did - it was one of the more successful.

That is unless you're our neighbours in the hotel when Matilda is playing the drums, sorry about that ;)

I just love that some of the best fun comes from materials that could have been thrown away without a thought, but instead provide hours of fun and learning. I am constantly trying to come up for uses for other materials we have around the home - thank goodness for those crafty mum blogs out there.

Oh and BTW - they weren't the only toys we took :)

Why is it so hard to say the V word?

Vagina

There I said it, well actually no I didn't, I typed it didn't I?

This one little word have had me thinking this past week. Not what you were expecting read, right? :)

To fully understand I am going to take you back to that imaginary list we have spoken about before, you know the one you tend to make years before you have children of all the things you are going to do as a parent when you do have children?

My list had things I had picked up from other parents, like keep the room dimly lit with no TV, phones or any bright lights or loud noises for night feeds, it helps them feed and then drift of back to sleep - you too (it really does!)

It also had teach your kids the proper name for their 'bits', after a conversation with a friend years ago about her kids and the day care they went to. And that's exactly what I had planned to do...

That is until push came to shove.

And now, well its the plan but we are having trouble saying it.

Yes for some stupid, crazy, completely irrational reason Matilda's Dad and I find it odd to say vagina to our daughter.

Why??

I have no idea.

Well its happened, I have a toddler!

Yes it's true - Matilda can walk!

Want to see it? Cause its totally cute... :)

Suggested reading for this wet weekend

I've been doing a little self indulgent blog reading this morning. It's amazing how honest, raw and touching these amazing writers can be.

This morning's reading was so good I decided to share, even if it means I send the few people who read my little blog off to read a much better one! Why? Well they are really good for one, and we all have to have something to aspire to.

So a few choices this morning - you can start with the heartbreakingly honest and amazing story of baby Nella's entry to this big wide world, followed by her brother Dash's or you can go for a colourful description on the trials of labelling your parenting choices.

Your choice.

But I'll list them in the order I would (and did) read them. Get a cuppa and the tissues ready, you'll need it.

First I would Welcome baby Dashel into the world, its a beautiful story, and then get the tissues out for his big sister Nella's arrival, then once the tears have subsided settle in for a laugh and discover where one of our more colourful phrases may have come from (I laughed out loud at this point) in Why I Am Over the Attachment Parenting Community.

And finally, because I always love what she writes, head on over to Latte Mum's blog and ponder her Humpty Dumpty moments.

Have a beautiful weekend xoxo

Did you always know he would be a good Dad?

I did. Well I thought he would be, but I actually have a photo of the moment I knew he would be a good Dad.

I love these photos as it brings back that same feeling I had on the night, that moment when my instincts screamed "That right there is a good Daddy in the making".

Believe it or not that was back in 2005. We were not yet engaged, let alone married and we were most definitely not thinking about kids yet. It would be nearly seven years until we welcomed Matilda into our family and yet there it is, the moment I knew.

I had the same feeling the last night when I walked in the door, late after a big 'week' at work and there was Matilda and her Dad - Matilda all fed, bathed and dressed for bed, our dinner ready and the two musketeers up to mischief.

Why is it so hard, ok nearly impossible, to ask for help?

Does anyone else have this problem?

Sometimes I wonder how strong, smart, intelligent , confident women can find it so hard to ask for help.

I've been thinking about this since late last week. You see I returned to work this week (thats a whole other post) and as you may have read, my darling Matilda is not loving the drop off at day care.

Update for those playing along - its getting much better, well not the drop off so much but she is enjoying being there a lot more. And she did get two molars this week, that wont have helped.

Anyway, knowing that I have always struggled to get myself to work on time I was all in a bind about getting us both ready on Monday morning, getting to day care then work all without rushing Matilda and making her feel worse.

Then I had a brainwave - maybe Matilda's Dad could work from home on Monday and take her to care for me? Great idea, all I had to do was ask.

Mummy, what is a fraud?

Ever had one of those experiences that made you feel like a complete and utter fraud? Me too and there seems very little I can do about it for now.

You see a couple of weeks ago I posted about taking Matilda to day care for the very first time. I was understandably nervous but optimistic as Matilda loves kids and is usually a happy go lucky little creature.

Well I was right to be optimistic that day, she had loved every minute of it. When I arrived to pick her up she was sound asleep. When I eventually woke her she was excited... to show me the fan in the bedroom (she loves fans more than almost anything), when I brought her out of the sleeping room she clambered down to continue playing.

Phew. That was so much better than it could have been. Day two was similar to day one and I had one happy little girl on my hands.

Somehow I think she would rather be at the beach...

Happy first birthday baby girl

So I have been thinking about the best way to blog about my girls birthday, and then someone did it for me!

Please read Jennifer Burch Photography's A very special family, its a very beautiful, honest and touching account of my girls first year from the outside.

My family is lucky to have met this amazing photographer and I cannot express how much this posts means to us.

Happy 1st Birthday baby girl xoxo

So I dropped her off at day care today...

Yikes.

Yup I could actually stop right there, yikes.

Its funny though my anxiety about Matilda heading off to childcare today wasn't actually about how Matilda would react. She is such a social butterfly childcare will be heaven for her. It was more about being prepared for her, having everything she could possibly need in her bag so that her day could go to plan.

Lets hope that's what I have done! I've probably packed enough food to feed Matilda, all the other kids and the staff!

Sitting talking about today's activities last night, Matilda's Dad said to me "Now remember tomorrow, conscious parenting" Ha! Easy for him to say he was off to work and could be as anxious as he liked away from home...

But actually he was right. We don't believe in teaching Matilda to be afraid or to pass on our anxieties to her. So this morning we had a great time getting ready for school, we talked about it on the way there, sung songs and then sung the "My mummy comes back" song.

Come on Mum lets go!

We walked into the centre happy, said good morning to everyone one we met and then she was off!

Happy New Year!

The apps we love

Matilda doesn't really spend much time in front of the TV, she probably has only really 'watched' TV a handful of times in her life.

Sure, of a morning the TV is on in the background and if there is a music act on she will sit up and bop along to it, but otherwise its the very rare (and only recently) ABC for kids show that she has seen.

But she does have a few favourite apps. Well it is the technological age after all.

They are all educational (well they aren't games anyway) and frankly they can be great fun. So I thought I would share our top apps with you.

Matilda's favourite would have to be a three way tie between Willbee the Bumblebee, Dear Zoo and The Wonky Donkey so I will chat about those first :)

All of these books can be read to you or you can read along yourself. The two books by Craig Smith also have a song version which are the current favourites in our place at the moment. For the older kids there are also some games and other activities in each of these.

Willbee the Bumblebee

 
Matilda just loves Willbee, she bounces around and shakes her maracas as the story unfolds. It's a great little story about a bumblebee working in the garden until his jersey comes unravelled. It's then up to the other animals, Monica the butterfly and Spider Steve (who reads the Women's Weekly!) to help him out. It's a great story, catchy song (probably too catchy) and the environmental message in there makes me a happy mum.

I definitely recommend this one :)

Dear Zoo

Dear Zoo is a great story and the app is so much fun. It comes with plenty of sound effects and is simple enough to let the little ones start to experience the touch screen. Don't get me wrong Matilda isn't left alone with the iPad to read this story, but she can now get the animals out of their crates and make them make their sounds.

We add in a few extra words on the snake story (the snake is too scary for Nanna) as I don't believe in bringing Matilda up to be afraid of any animal, but otherwise this one is definitely a huge favourite in our house.

 The Wonkey Donkey

Ah the Wonky Donkey, it's a toss up who loves this one more - Matilda's Aunty (she's a teacher), Matilda or Matilda's Dad (cause it makes fart noises..!)

This one is by the same guy who does Willbee and its just as great. Actually, this is the original but for now Willbee is slightly ahead in the favourite race.

Again you can have this one read to you, sung to you or you can read along yourself so plenty of choices there. The song is the current favourite in our place and there is a lot of bopping along as the story unfolds.

It's also good for a giggle as Wonky gets more and more interesting and traditionally unattractive but then turns out 'quite good looking' - gives Mum and Dad a laugh anyway!

Baby Karaoke

This is another lifesaver. Matilda loves the songs and its great for that much needed quick distraction. It would be great if all the songs on the Raising Children Network site were available, but its a free app so these five are great!

Baby's Music Box

I am going to apologise for introducing you to this one straight up. Sorry.

Its annoying, like really annoying but... it instantly calms a screaming baby so, well, it's also handy.

We don't use this one so much any more but as a small bubba Matilda loved it. If she was ever a little distressed we would pop it on and the soothing (lets be clear - soothing for a wee baby not for you) sounds of this app would help nine times out of ten.

Thank goodness we don't have to use it much any more!

ABC for Kids

I am pretty sure every parent has discovered this one - but just in case you haven't its got a handy little selection of songs and videos for that urgently needed short distraction. We like Elmo's videos at the moment, particularly the one where he makes Baby Bear sing for his porridge. Again, this one is a little too catchy and I find myself singing it hours later!

Warning: anyone one with a Mummy-crush on Mr Laga'aia - this will not help matters. Take it from someone who knows ;)

The Wonder Weeks

 
This is one for the Mummies and Daddies out there. This app is a great summary of the information in the invaluable Wonder Weeks book. I cannot believe none of the mainstream education (that I experienced anyway) talked about these wonder weeks. We hear so much about the growth spurts at 10 days, three weeks, six weeks, three months & six months but in my experience these wonder weeks are much more obvious and amazing!

Do yourself a favour and get this app and sign up for the the reminder emails on the website. If you can find the time to read, get the book as well. You will learn so much about your little one!

The Wonder Weeks is even available as a chapter by chapter eBook so if your little one has passed some of the milestones you don't have to buy the whole book. I love that!

The last leap of the Wonder Weeks is not until 17 months, so even parents of older bubs can get some use out of this one.

There are a couple of other books Matilda quite enjoys but is a little young to truly appreciate them just yet. Having said that she does enjoy them, and I can see them being favourites in the future so here's a quick list of them:

• Mademoiselle Daisy's New Friends
• Scott's Submarine
• Scott's Polar Trip

So that's it for the moment, there are a few others we have tried and found that they aren't so great or that they are a little advanced for Matilda at this point, but these ones are definitely the ones on high rotation at our place at the moment.

I hope if you give them a try, you like them as much as we do. And if you have any favourites I would love to hear them!


NEWS FLASH: The Wonder Weeks website has a Christmas Giveaway happening at the moment -you can download the first chapters of the eBook for free on their website, nice!

Christmas is so different on this side of parenthood

I love Christmas - always have, always will. Every year I make Matilda's Dad pop on the Christmas carols to put up the Christmas tree. I love wrapping the presents and seeing them under the tree and I love giving them out during the season :)

Most of all I love the family time. Christmas for me is all about family. I grew up in a big family (so big I still have to draw a family tree for Matilda's Dad on occasion) so Christmas was all about Mum, Dad and my sister and all of our grandparents, aunts, uncles, great-aunts, great-uncles, heaps of cousins and other adopted 'family members' all getting together for a massive lunch, games and presents and then doing it all over again at dinner with the other side of the family.

As we got older it was more and more about the family, the silly games of cricket or footy on the oval during the day and long nights of 'panic' or whatever the board game of the year was that year. It was about catching Christmas beetles and spitting cherry seeds over the fence late into the night.

As an adult I still love these get-togethers. Its a chance to see everyone, or almost everyone, in the same place at least once that year. It's a chance to swap old stories and laugh til we have tears running down our faces (usually thanks to the same accident prone and very funny Uncle) and its the one day a year where we can stuff ourselves silly and no one cares. Not one little bit.

But this year, well this year its different.

All of those things still matter but there is an extra touch of magic in the air.

I knew it would be different with Matilda here, but as she was so young I wasn't convinced we would see a difference just yet - not so. Matilda herself loves the lights, the trees and the decorations. Not  just at home but when we are out and about as well.

Her favourite words, besides Dadda and nanna, are wow, look and that, which is lucky as we hear lots of them as we get out and about.

But it's the difference it has made to Matilda's Dad that I have really noticed.

See, my husband hates shopping centres. He also hates crowds. Christmas time in a shopping centre is therefore his version of hell. So imagine my surprise when he suggested a trip to the shops... on a day when Target had a sale... to get more Christmas decorations... whhaatt??

Then further surprises as he is itching to put up the tree and play the carols - usually its a reluctant husband helping out with this every year.

The difference? Yup its his little girls first Christmas.

And its not just us. Yes, the rest of the family are all very excited too - but so are the neighbours! Yes, that's right the neighbours. We come home the other day to find that one of the neighbours has decorated one of our boundary trees with lights in the form of 'Matti' (which is what he calls Matilda!).

Is that not the best thing ever!

Well, this is where I was going to hand over to Matilda's Dad - he was planing to tell you in his own words how he feels about Christmas, but he is waaay too busy and we will be waiting til next Christmas for that, so instead here are a few pics of Matilda and her Daddy decorating the tree for Matilda's first Christmas :)

Merry Christmas everyone, we hope its your best one yet xoxo

I love my holiday husband

I love my holiday husband.

That's not to say I don't love him all year round, but I particularly love the husband I get when we go on holidays, the one that emerges when we really relax and get away from it all.

You see we've just come back from three glorious weeks away, lost in the wilds of one of our favourite destinations, Tasmania. And it was awesome. 

The holiday itself was great, we got to do and see some amazing things and Matilda has been to some of the most precious places in the world.

But as usual the best bit was family.

My husband commutes, like so many of the people that live here on the Coast, so its a very long day for him. Alarm goes off at what I would call stupid o'clock, he walks out the door not long after - around 5.30am and walks back in the door just after six each night.

The working day is a fairly standard one, but the extra three or so hours of travel, and six different trains a day make it quite a challenge.

During the winter months this means there is often very little sunshine to be had as it is dark when he leaves and again when he returns.

Since the addition of Matilda into our little family our nights can be, as many can imagine, a little hectic. Bath time is Daddy time as that is one of the few precious moments they can stop and hang out together on a weekday. But by the time the Matilda's dinner, bath, story and bedtime are complete, not to mention squeezing in our dinner and making lunches for the next day we often flop onto the lounge for a quick cuppa and catch up before crawling into bed exhausted and ready to do it all over again tomorrow.

This, as you can well imagine, can be exhausting for everyone involved.

So when we get away from it all the real, fun loving version of my husband emerges. And its great!

While we were away we danced like idiots in our friends kitchen while Matilda and the dogs watched on, we sang our way though a thousand daggy songs, we laughed and stayed up way too late, we went on picnics and spent the days exploring the amazing places Tassie has to offer and we had the best time.

So, that's why I love my holiday husband.

For all of those interested in our Tassie trip, I will post a little more on that another day - in the meantime I am going to share a few of my favourite Daddy / daughter pics form our trip, just because I can :)

 

My advice for new mums a year on

I love to share what I have learnt with others but I am also weary of being the know-it-all new mum who bombards everyone with her opinion. I suppose that's one of the reasons this blog exists - I can give as much advice as I like and only those who want it read it.

Recently one of my fav mummy bloggers, Latte Mum, has been talking about her first year as a mum and what advice she would give herself if she could go back before her bubba was born. It got me thinking, what advice would I give myself if I could go back in time?

So, after some time considering this same question to I came up with my top three pieces of advice for new, or any really, mums.

Actually it's really only one piece of advice, but we'll call it three for now ;)

1. Trust your instincts. Above everything else.
Honestly this is the most important thing you can do for yourself and your baby. No one knows how to parent your baby better than you do, no one.

Sure, take advice form others, listen to the great and not-so-great hints and tips from other mums, aunts and uncles, Nanna's, pops, friends and complete strangers, but only take on those that feel right to you. Trust that you know what is best for your family.

Don't get me wrong, it will be hard at times but it is always worth it.

2. It's ok to change your mind (as long as you are doing #1)
I found that I went into this parenting thing with quite a few preconceived ideas that I never considered there was an alternative to (starting on pureed foods for example). But then as I travelled along I discovered that there indeed was alternatives and often they suited me much more than the original idea.

So I changed my tact and that was ok. Actually it was better than ok, it was perfect because it was right for my family and I was following my instincts.

Don't get bogged down in how you thought it would happen, if it doesn't feel right or if its not working, try something different. You never know, it might just be perfect for you :)

3. Find your 'parenting rock star' (for the times you doubt #1)
Its all well and good to say trust your instincts but some days that is really, really hard. On those days you need a few things, good friends - often other Mums who think like you do and a parenting expert to back you up!

Mine, as many will know, is Pinky McKay. When I am struggling to find what works for me or when the 100th person that day has questioned the way I am doing things (or given me that wonderful unsolicited advice I have talked about before...) I turn to Pinky. She doesn't always agree with me, don't get me wrong, but in general her parenting philosophy suits mine and that makes me feel better.

There are also a few facebook pages I am a member of that do this as well. The Natural Parent Magazine and Natural Parenting tips are great ones.
 
So there it is - my collective wisdom eleven months down the track. I hope it helps and I wonder what I will be writing this time next year when Matilda is almost two (yikes!)?

Have a great night xoxo

A little ray of sunshine

I have to say I am feeling all warm and fuzzy after one of my absolute favourite bloggers sent a little ray of sunshine my way with the Sunshine Blogger Award.

My love came from Latte Mum whose blog I just adore. The blog itself is beautiful, it really is, sometimes I visit just to admire the design! But it doesn't stop there, Latte Mum has a beautiful way of expressing what it means to be a Mum, I love following her journey. So do yourself a favour, grab a cuppa and go visit the lovely Latte Mum's site you wont be sorry :)

I am feeling a little extra warm and fuzzy just because of the name of this award - I just love the song A little ray of sunshine by Aussie band Axiom - actually I have it playing in the background as we speak - here why don't you enjoy as well... :) Anyway, I often use it in cards when baby girls are welcomed into this world and it was one of the first things I said to Matilda's Dad after she was born. So this recognition is just that little bit more special :)

With the award comes some responsibility, I must now pass on the award to my favourite blogs (pity I cant pass it back to Latte Mum!). There are a few Mummy bloggers in here, but I have included some of my other favourites as well. I hope you find something here you like :)

• The Imagination Tree creative play and learning for kids - A great blog for those of us that are a little less than creative but want to get hands on with our munchkins.
• Play at home Mom - more play based learning ideas from a group of clever Mums.
• Little Grazers delicious food for little hands - great recipe ideas for us BLW mums!
• Finding that place called home - Another beautiful blog, this one about a little bit of everything - being a mum, food and a lovely natural life in a beautiful part of the world. 
• Healthy Happy Life - amazing recipes! The Sweet potato burgers are to die for...
• Wordwood - a place where I go to escape into a beautiful world and watch my friends create their dream.
• Neilwrites - this guy is funny, intelligent and downright interesting!

And finally there is no way I could go past Pinky McKay's blog Mummy Matters. Pinky is my parenting 'rockstar'.

Ok, so that's only eight, not the 10 I am supposed to do but I find it hard enough keeping up with these ones! If I think of others I will add them, promise.

As with any award there is always a catch - with this one I am required to let you know 10 things you might not know about me, so here goes:

1. As mentioned above I love the song  A little ray of sunshine, it and Hallelujah when sung by KD Lang are the only two songs that can bring me to tears.
2. My husband and I have known each other since we were 15 - but we were not 'high school sweethearts'.
3. Once we were 'together' we spent a total of three years living in different states!
4. My sister is my best friend. Followed closely by some other amazing chicks!
5. I have the most extended family known to man.
6. I have a 'thing' about getting in and out of the same side if the bed, something that my husband only realised last night!
7. Every year my Mum buys me a bottle of perfume and the latest in Patricia Cornwell's Scarpetta series. Its not Christmas if that doesn't happen.
8. I had a miscarriage in 2010 - it sucked.
9. I feel complete when I am near the ocean.
10. While I am happy not to drink while feeding my gorgeous little girl the first drink I will have once she is weaned (whenever that might be) will be either a Kahlua straight up with loads of ice or a Frangelico, freshly squeezed lime and ice, followed by whichever one I didn't have first. I will then probably pass out as it has been so long!

For all of the fabulous blogs mention above, the rules for accepting this award are:

• Include award logo in blog post and thank the blogger who gave it to you & include link back
• Answer 10 questions about yourself or list 10 facts about you
• Nominate approximately 10 bloggers for the award and contact them to inform them

Thanks again to Latte Mum for the ray of sunshine I hope everyone has enjoyed dabbling in my favourite reads :)

What to do when you cant be objective...

Have you ever had one of those situations where you know you really need to be the objective one, the one that provides the stable, sensible advice looking at the problem from all angles but you just cant?

I am in the middle of one of them at the moment. Ironically I am not only sturggling with the issue but with writing abut it!

You may ask why on earth I am trying to wirte about it then, well sometimes writing helps me sort it out in my head and I feel like sharing. Mostly my difficulties in writing this one is fully discussing the issue without sharing too much personal information and without offending anyone (I hate offending people).

The other reason I want to write about it here is that the way I would have delt with this pre-Matilda is very different to the way I am (or am not as the case may be) dealing with it now. It is because I am a mum that I am having such trouble separating myself from the problem.

So the thing is that we have had a falling out with a family member on my husband's side. Sadly we are really not sure what the falling out is all about but suffice to say it has meant a long period of silence between us and them.

Now pre-Matilda I would have quite easily separated myself from the issue, discussed it with my husband and gave him some gentle advice. But now... Well I just can't.

You see, we are big enough to look after ourselves. We can make decisions and see the behaviour of the other person for what it is, but Matilda can't. We can understand the complexities of the issues, but Matilda can't.

And it's my job to protect her. It's my job to teach her right from wrong. It's my job to keep the real world out for as long as possible. Right?

So how do I objectively look at the issue and help my husband through this without compromising on the things we want to teach Matilda?

I even feel differently about being treated this way now. Previously I would have been a little annoyed and probably insulted at this behaviour but I would have easily dismissed it and encouraged reconciliation for the sake of family.

This time I am hurt. I am hurt for my husband, I am hurt for Matilda and I am hurt. I am also angry. I feel like we are being treated badly and that the compromise we would need to make to fix this would be a significant one, particularly in light of our parenting responsibilities.

I no longer feel like I can look at the issues objectively. I can no longer be understanding of the personal issues, I can no longer brush off the bad behaviour. I want to teach Matilda the importance of respect and in this case I feel we are getting none.

However, I also want Matilda to be empathic. I want her to be understanding and to know when there is a difference between bad behaviour and personal circumstance. I want her to be able to forgive and I want her to know her family.

How do I teach her patience when I have run out? How do I teach her understanding when I am struggling and how on earth do I teach her the difference between understanding and reasonable compromise and it being a doormat?

So what do I do?

Do I compromise and facilitate a reconciliation or do I stay quiet and let this silly stand off continue? How do I stop feeling so angry about this? And do I want to? And how on earth can I support my husband through all of this?

Sadly I don't have an answer.