Did you always know he would be a good Dad?

I did. Well I thought he would be, but I actually have a photo of the moment I knew he would be a good Dad.

I love these photos as it brings back that same feeling I had on the night, that moment when my instincts screamed "That right there is a good Daddy in the making".

Believe it or not that was back in 2005. We were not yet engaged, let alone married and we were most definitely not thinking about kids yet. It would be nearly seven years until we welcomed Matilda into our family and yet there it is, the moment I knew.

I had the same feeling the last night when I walked in the door, late after a big 'week' at work and there was Matilda and her Dad - Matilda all fed, bathed and dressed for bed, our dinner ready and the two musketeers up to mischief.

Why is it so hard, ok nearly impossible, to ask for help?

Does anyone else have this problem?

Sometimes I wonder how strong, smart, intelligent , confident women can find it so hard to ask for help.

I've been thinking about this since late last week. You see I returned to work this week (thats a whole other post) and as you may have read, my darling Matilda is not loving the drop off at day care.

Update for those playing along - its getting much better, well not the drop off so much but she is enjoying being there a lot more. And she did get two molars this week, that wont have helped.

Anyway, knowing that I have always struggled to get myself to work on time I was all in a bind about getting us both ready on Monday morning, getting to day care then work all without rushing Matilda and making her feel worse.

Then I had a brainwave - maybe Matilda's Dad could work from home on Monday and take her to care for me? Great idea, all I had to do was ask.

Mummy, what is a fraud?

Ever had one of those experiences that made you feel like a complete and utter fraud? Me too and there seems very little I can do about it for now.

You see a couple of weeks ago I posted about taking Matilda to day care for the very first time. I was understandably nervous but optimistic as Matilda loves kids and is usually a happy go lucky little creature.

Well I was right to be optimistic that day, she had loved every minute of it. When I arrived to pick her up she was sound asleep. When I eventually woke her she was excited... to show me the fan in the bedroom (she loves fans more than almost anything), when I brought her out of the sleeping room she clambered down to continue playing.

Phew. That was so much better than it could have been. Day two was similar to day one and I had one happy little girl on my hands.

Somehow I think she would rather be at the beach...

Happy first birthday baby girl

So I have been thinking about the best way to blog about my girls birthday, and then someone did it for me!

Please read Jennifer Burch Photography's A very special family, its a very beautiful, honest and touching account of my girls first year from the outside.

My family is lucky to have met this amazing photographer and I cannot express how much this posts means to us.

Happy 1st Birthday baby girl xoxo

So I dropped her off at day care today...

Yikes.

Yup I could actually stop right there, yikes.

Its funny though my anxiety about Matilda heading off to childcare today wasn't actually about how Matilda would react. She is such a social butterfly childcare will be heaven for her. It was more about being prepared for her, having everything she could possibly need in her bag so that her day could go to plan.

Lets hope that's what I have done! I've probably packed enough food to feed Matilda, all the other kids and the staff!

Sitting talking about today's activities last night, Matilda's Dad said to me "Now remember tomorrow, conscious parenting" Ha! Easy for him to say he was off to work and could be as anxious as he liked away from home...

But actually he was right. We don't believe in teaching Matilda to be afraid or to pass on our anxieties to her. So this morning we had a great time getting ready for school, we talked about it on the way there, sung songs and then sung the "My mummy comes back" song.

Come on Mum lets go!

We walked into the centre happy, said good morning to everyone one we met and then she was off!