A little ray of sunshine

I have to say I am feeling all warm and fuzzy after one of my absolute favourite bloggers sent a little ray of sunshine my way with the Sunshine Blogger Award.

My love came from Latte Mum whose blog I just adore. The blog itself is beautiful, it really is, sometimes I visit just to admire the design! But it doesn't stop there, Latte Mum has a beautiful way of expressing what it means to be a Mum, I love following her journey. So do yourself a favour, grab a cuppa and go visit the lovely Latte Mum's site you wont be sorry :)

I am feeling a little extra warm and fuzzy just because of the name of this award - I just love the song A little ray of sunshine by Aussie band Axiom - actually I have it playing in the background as we speak - here why don't you enjoy as well... :) Anyway, I often use it in cards when baby girls are welcomed into this world and it was one of the first things I said to Matilda's Dad after she was born. So this recognition is just that little bit more special :)

With the award comes some responsibility, I must now pass on the award to my favourite blogs (pity I cant pass it back to Latte Mum!). There are a few Mummy bloggers in here, but I have included some of my other favourites as well. I hope you find something here you like :)

• The Imagination Tree creative play and learning for kids - A great blog for those of us that are a little less than creative but want to get hands on with our munchkins.
• Play at home Mom - more play based learning ideas from a group of clever Mums.
• Little Grazers delicious food for little hands - great recipe ideas for us BLW mums!
• Finding that place called home - Another beautiful blog, this one about a little bit of everything - being a mum, food and a lovely natural life in a beautiful part of the world. 
• Healthy Happy Life - amazing recipes! The Sweet potato burgers are to die for...
• Wordwood - a place where I go to escape into a beautiful world and watch my friends create their dream.
• Neilwrites - this guy is funny, intelligent and downright interesting!

And finally there is no way I could go past Pinky McKay's blog Mummy Matters. Pinky is my parenting 'rockstar'.

Ok, so that's only eight, not the 10 I am supposed to do but I find it hard enough keeping up with these ones! If I think of others I will add them, promise.

As with any award there is always a catch - with this one I am required to let you know 10 things you might not know about me, so here goes:

1. As mentioned above I love the song  A little ray of sunshine, it and Hallelujah when sung by KD Lang are the only two songs that can bring me to tears.
2. My husband and I have known each other since we were 15 - but we were not 'high school sweethearts'.
3. Once we were 'together' we spent a total of three years living in different states!
4. My sister is my best friend. Followed closely by some other amazing chicks!
5. I have the most extended family known to man.
6. I have a 'thing' about getting in and out of the same side if the bed, something that my husband only realised last night!
7. Every year my Mum buys me a bottle of perfume and the latest in Patricia Cornwell's Scarpetta series. Its not Christmas if that doesn't happen.
8. I had a miscarriage in 2010 - it sucked.
9. I feel complete when I am near the ocean.
10. While I am happy not to drink while feeding my gorgeous little girl the first drink I will have once she is weaned (whenever that might be) will be either a Kahlua straight up with loads of ice or a Frangelico, freshly squeezed lime and ice, followed by whichever one I didn't have first. I will then probably pass out as it has been so long!

For all of the fabulous blogs mention above, the rules for accepting this award are:

• Include award logo in blog post and thank the blogger who gave it to you & include link back
• Answer 10 questions about yourself or list 10 facts about you
• Nominate approximately 10 bloggers for the award and contact them to inform them

Thanks again to Latte Mum for the ray of sunshine I hope everyone has enjoyed dabbling in my favourite reads :)

What to do when you cant be objective...

Have you ever had one of those situations where you know you really need to be the objective one, the one that provides the stable, sensible advice looking at the problem from all angles but you just cant?

I am in the middle of one of them at the moment. Ironically I am not only sturggling with the issue but with writing abut it!

You may ask why on earth I am trying to wirte about it then, well sometimes writing helps me sort it out in my head and I feel like sharing. Mostly my difficulties in writing this one is fully discussing the issue without sharing too much personal information and without offending anyone (I hate offending people).

The other reason I want to write about it here is that the way I would have delt with this pre-Matilda is very different to the way I am (or am not as the case may be) dealing with it now. It is because I am a mum that I am having such trouble separating myself from the problem.

So the thing is that we have had a falling out with a family member on my husband's side. Sadly we are really not sure what the falling out is all about but suffice to say it has meant a long period of silence between us and them.

Now pre-Matilda I would have quite easily separated myself from the issue, discussed it with my husband and gave him some gentle advice. But now... Well I just can't.

You see, we are big enough to look after ourselves. We can make decisions and see the behaviour of the other person for what it is, but Matilda can't. We can understand the complexities of the issues, but Matilda can't.

And it's my job to protect her. It's my job to teach her right from wrong. It's my job to keep the real world out for as long as possible. Right?

So how do I objectively look at the issue and help my husband through this without compromising on the things we want to teach Matilda?

I even feel differently about being treated this way now. Previously I would have been a little annoyed and probably insulted at this behaviour but I would have easily dismissed it and encouraged reconciliation for the sake of family.

This time I am hurt. I am hurt for my husband, I am hurt for Matilda and I am hurt. I am also angry. I feel like we are being treated badly and that the compromise we would need to make to fix this would be a significant one, particularly in light of our parenting responsibilities.

I no longer feel like I can look at the issues objectively. I can no longer be understanding of the personal issues, I can no longer brush off the bad behaviour. I want to teach Matilda the importance of respect and in this case I feel we are getting none.

However, I also want Matilda to be empathic. I want her to be understanding and to know when there is a difference between bad behaviour and personal circumstance. I want her to be able to forgive and I want her to know her family.

How do I teach her patience when I have run out? How do I teach her understanding when I am struggling and how on earth do I teach her the difference between understanding and reasonable compromise and it being a doormat?

So what do I do?

Do I compromise and facilitate a reconciliation or do I stay quiet and let this silly stand off continue? How do I stop feeling so angry about this? And do I want to? And how on earth can I support my husband through all of this?

Sadly I don't have an answer.

Jumping on the Pete Evans bandwagon

I know, I know, there are probably plenty of blog posts out there after the weekend's hullabaloo over Pete Evans's A day on my plate column in the Sunday Age but I'm weighing in as well, if you're over it fine - don't read it :)

But my post will be a little different... I'm not here to crucify the guy for his menu choice, I actually applaud him for his choices and being brave enough to put it out there. It's a cruel world out there.

The thing that amazes me is that had this menu come from some Hollywood celeb there would be thousands of women rushing out to try it and 'activated almonds' would be the new black.

But an Aussie chef steps up and simply says "this is what I eat" and he is crucified. What makes one so trendy and the other, to quote anther blog out there, "slightly wanky"?

I almost like Pete's response (posted on his Facebook page) more than the original column, this is it here:

IGNORANCE is not bliss!

I'm occasionally ridiculed because I choose to eat what I believe to be a nutrient dense diet, and I find it so bizarre as to why people sometimes find my food choices so offensive? All I know is that I'm well aware

 of the consequences of eating 'dead' food. And also I'm a father and I take that privilege very seriously, so for me striving for optimum health and trying new things whenever possible, so that I can be a responsible role model for my daughters and still be able to surf right up until the end, is my choice and quite simply what works for me.

I like this quote by German Philosopher 'Arthur Schoepenhauer.'

Good on you Pete!

So why does this get up my nose so much? Well mostly it is because I can't stand other judging people for their choices. I really wanted to just write "grow up" on the posts as they came up on the day, but figured it was better not to give them my energy.

But then he posted that response and there was the comment regarding parenting - I love it!

In that little statement he had me as a fan. I really believe we all need to be conscious of our parenting activities, of our choices and of how they affect our little ones. They do, after all, rely on us for everything to begin with and as time goes on we are their check point - the standard they compare everything else to and in turn make their own decisions with this in mind. Why wouldn't we want to provide them with the best we possibly can?

When Matilda's Dad and I decided it was time for a family we embarked on a pre-conception care program with our amazing naturopath Jo. It didn't stop there - once we were pregnant, I was super conscious of the foods I ate and followed a strict list of foods that were not to be eaten. Why? Because it was only nine months and what was really more important - that lovely olive from the deli or the health of my unborn baby? To me that's an easy one.

Now I am not saying we are perfect, not even close but it was good to have some guidelines to follow and a very special goal in mind.

So to me Pete Evans choosing to eat activated almonds, coconut kefir and what ever else was on his menu to ensure his health and to provide a great role model for his daughters is something to be celebrated!