The 'other' Mummy guilt

We all know about Mummy guilt, there a thousands of blog posts out there about it and everyone has experienced it. You know that guilty feeling you had when you first left bubba, when you had to go back to work before you wanted to or when you discovered that you hadn't done up points 498 and 499 on the 500 point harness... Well that's not what this post is about.

I've been thinking about the other type of Mummy guilt I have come across since being a mum - I like to call it "Your not doing it the way I did and I feel threatened by that so I will attack your choices" guilt - or 'past Mummy guilt' for short!

Has anyone else experienced it? It usually goes something like this:

"I've decided to do X" (this could be cloth nappies, baby led weaning, not using sun screen - or the exact opposite!)

"Really, well here's a hundred reasons why what you are doing is ...... (insert wrong, dangerous, stupid, unethical etc etc)"

Well ok it's not quite that bad but it can be quiet confronting and honestly I don't understand it. By choosing to parent my child my way I am in no way suggesting that the way you do it is wrong, it's simply the right way for me. Is that really that offensive?

What I find fascinating is that this reaction isn't just from mothers of bubs the same age as Matilda it can come from anywhere - Mums of toddlers or older children to mums of teenagers, adults and grandmothers!

It really makes you wonder how those mums who are feeling a little sensitive put up with it, no wonder we all get overwhelmed at times. I can't count the amount of times I have felt like I have had to defend my parenting choices to someone who simply did it differently.

The thing is, usually the topics that create the most reaction are not those 'hot' topics we expect. Things like smacking, drinking alcohol during pregnancy / breastfeeding etc can be highly emotive but are rarely discussed and challenged. Yet breastfeeding on demand, giving them finger foods rather than purées or using cloth nappies are fair game? Really?

So here's my promise - I will happily share my parenting techniques and philosophy with you. I will even defend my beliefs about those important topics. But I will never judge you just because you do it differently. I may ask you lots of questions about the way you do things so that I understand your methods, I may even give it a try myself. I also may not. Please do not be offended if I do things differently, just as you choose / chose to parent your children your way I choose to parent my way.

While ever we have our children's best interests at heart we all have the right to do it our way.

Simple as that.